How My Own Experience of Being AuDHD Helps Me Support Neurodivergent Therapy Clients

Therapy can be life-changing, but for neurodivergent people, it often means navigating a world - and a process - not designed with us in mind. As a neurodivergent therapist, I’ve sat on both sides of the room. I know what it’s like to be a client trying to make sense of yourself in spaces that don’t quite fit, and I know what it’s like to hold space for others who’ve felt the same.

What I want to share here is how my own journey of discovering I’m Autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) has shaped the way I work - and why creating safe, affirming spaces for neurodivergent clients is at the heart of my practice.

Embracing My Own Neurodivergence: ADHD, Autism, and My Therapy Journey

Finding out I was neurodivergent changed everything. I was diagnosed late, after years of wondering why therapy - and the world - often felt harder than it seemed to be for others.

Looking back, I can see the moments that didn’t sit right. Being told to “slow down” my thoughts, to “just focus,” or to “sit still” - all well-intentioned advice that left me feeling misunderstood. There were sessions where I felt ashamed for my own way of being, where my divergent mind was subtly framed as a problem to fix.

Realising I’m AuDHD helped those pieces click into place. It wasn’t that I was resistant or inattentive - I was simply trying to exist in systems that didn’t understand me.

From neurodivergent client to neurodivergent therapist

Long before I knew my own neurotype, I found myself drawn to working with neurodivergent clients. There was always a spark of recognition - a sense that I could meet people where they were, without asking them to perform.

After my own diagnosis, that connection deepened. I began to see just how many of us had struggled in therapy, not because we were “difficult clients,” but because therapy itself had been built with neurotypical assumptions in mind. My disempowering experiences became fuel for change - a reminder that therapy can and should feel like a place where we’re allowed to unmask, stim, ramble, and be human.The therapeutic relationship: building trust through collaboration

Recognising the impact of negative experiences with therapists who invalidate their clients, I prioritise building trust with my clients by creating a collaborative, open and neuro-affirming environment. In a society where the need to mask and suppress our needs is ingrained, I continually check in with my clients, encouraging them to communicate their preferences so that we can make accommodations.

Building Trust Through Collaboration

So much harm happens when therapists assume they know best. I’ve experienced it - that subtle power imbalance when your needs are minimised or explained away.

Now, I prioritise collaboration and consent in every session. I regularly check in about what’s working, what isn’t, and what might help. I invite clients to adjust their environment - turn off the camera, grab a fidget, lie down, or bring a blanket. None of these things are distractions; they’re forms of regulation and care.

In a world that often asks us to suppress our needs, therapy should be the one place where those needs are allowed to exist in the open. Adapting therapy to individual neurodivergent needs

Most importantly, I recognise that neurodivergent people are all individuals with unique needs. Even where we share aspects of our neurology, we’re all different, so I invite my clients to engage with therapy in a way that suits them best. Whether it's having the option to keep their cameras on or off, lying down during sessions, or stimming, I want to accommodate my client’s diverse needs and acknowledge that these needs can change from day to day.

Adapting Therapy to Neurodivergent Needs

Us neurodivergent people are not a monolith. Even when we share traits or diagnoses, our nervous systems and sensory worlds are unique. What helps one person might overwhelm another.

Because of that, I hold flexibility as a core value in my practice. I don’t assume that one way of “doing therapy” works for everyone. Some clients prefer structured sessions; others need space to talk freely or use creative tools. Some find eye contact grounding, others find it unbearable. All of that is valid. Our work adapts to you - not the other way around.

Empowering Neurodivergent Clients in Therapy

Most traditional therapy models were created by neurotypical people, often with neurotypical norms baked in. That doesn’t make them bad. It does mean they need translation.

For me, that translation looks like helping clients design therapy spaces that fit their own rhythm and sensory needs. It means honouring difference rather than minimising it, and holding the therapy relationship as something we co-create. Safety comes not from neutrality, but from genuine understanding.

Advocating for Change in the Therapy World

Embracing my own neurodivergence hasn’t just changed my personal life - it’s become a professional commitment. I want to help reshape the therapy world so that neurodivergent people don’t have to twist themselves into shapes to receive support.

That’s why I speak and teach about neurodivergence and Internal Family Systems (IFS), including at the International IFS Conference in 2023 and 2024. My hope is that more therapists can learn to create spaces where difference is celebrated, not tolerated, where clients can come exactly as they are.

Closing Thoughts

Therapy should never make someone feel smaller. It should be a place of relief, honesty, and spaciousness - somewhere you can finally breathe.

My own experience of being AuDHD has given me a deep respect for the complexity and beauty of neurodivergent minds. It’s taught me that we don’t need to be fixed - we need to be understood.

If you’d like to learn more about my work with neurodivergent clients or my training for therapists, you can find more information on my website.